On the Self Reflections Podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with Aaron Solly, the founder of Engage Coaching Group, a mental wellness coach, and the author of Engage Connect Grow. Aaron’s journey is one of resilience, transformation, and dedication to helping others—particularly men—navigate their mental wellness.
In this article, I’ll be breaking down some of the powerful insights Aaron shared on the podcast, from overcoming self-doubt and depression to using journaling, values, and intentional actions as tools for growth. Whether you're facing personal struggles, seeking motivation, or simply looking for a fresh perspective, Aaron’s journey offers profound takeaways for all of us.
If you prefer to watch or listen to the full podcast episode, click on either below or follow us on YouTube and Spotify.
From Childhood Dreams to Mental Wellness Coaching
Aaron’s journey into coaching began in an unexpected way. As a child, he dreamed of being a teacher, even imagining himself teaching before falling asleep at night. This deep-seated passion for education never left him, even as he pursued a career in business and human resource management.
While Aaron found himself in sales roles rather than HR—since many HR jobs required prior experience—he never lost sight of his desire to educate and help others. As he worked in sales, he encountered influential figures like Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, and Zig Ziglar, which sparked a realisation:
Could he create a career centred around teaching, inspiring, and coaching others?
Over time, Aaron carved out a path that combined his passion for helping people, mental wellness, and personal development. He founded Engage Coaching Group, where he now helps men understand and navigate their mental wellness in both personal and professional settings.
Takeaway: Your career and life path may not unfold the way you expect, but by staying true to your core passions and values, you can create a life that aligns with your purpose.
Becoming an Author: The Journey to Engage, Connect, Grow
One of Aaron’s greatest accomplishments has been writing his book, Engage Connect Grow, which became an Amazon bestseller in its first week of release. But this wasn’t his first book—he had already self-published another titled 100% of Life is Between Your Ears, inspired by a phrase his basketball coach used to say:
"80% of the game is between your ears."
This phrase stuck with Aaron, even though it wasn’t explained at the time. He later realised that his struggles weren’t just about working harder, running faster, or practicing more—they were about his mindset.
Aaron’s book, Engage Connect Grow, was born from his desire to help others strengthen their mental resilience and self-awareness. It is a workbook filled with 52 exercises, designed for individuals or corporations to engage in weekly self-reflection and personal development.
Takeaway: Our thoughts shape our reality. Strengthening our mental game is just as important—if not more—than physical practice or external effort.
Navigating Low Self-Esteem and Mental Health Challenges
Aaron’s personal struggles with self-esteem and depression played a significant role in his journey. As a teenager, he found himself deeply impacted by sports, school, and comparisons to his peers.
Despite excelling in basketball and volleyball, he often felt disconnected from his friends, struggling with imposter syndrome and self-doubt. In university, he faced anxiety, stress, and the difficulty of using his voice in academic and social settings. This pattern of self-doubt and avoidance followed him into his career, where he feared public speakingand often switched jobs to escape pressure.
Even when he started seeing a therapist, he kept it a secret due to the stigma around men’s mental health at the time. He cycled through periods of depression, experiencing overworking, burnout, and avoidance behaviours—something many people can relate to.
Aaron emphasises that mental health is not a one-time fix. It requires consistent self-awareness, small steps, and intentional work.
Takeaway: Avoidance may seem like a short-term solution, but it often leads to bigger problems. Facing our fears, even in small steps, is the key to growth and healing.
Journaling: A Powerful Tool for Mental Clarity
One of the most transformative tools in Aaron’s journey has been journaling. He initially started journaling in university as a way to process anger, frustration, and sadness. Over time, he realised that writing helped him:
Express his emotions safely
Recognize thought patterns and triggers
Understand and challenge limiting beliefs
Track personal growth and progress
Aaron describes journaling as an essential practice in externalising thoughts, making them less overwhelming and allowing him to see them more objectively. He encourages others to start small, whether through daily reflections, gratitude lists, or anger-release exercises.
Takeaway: Journaling is a simple but powerful tool that helps bring clarity, emotional release, and self-awareness.
Resilience and Overcoming Depression
One of the most profound moments in Aaron’s life came at age 37, when he faced his darkest period of depression. His marriage was ending, he was unhappy in his career, and he was struggling as a father.
At that moment, he found himself searching online for answers—trying to understand what was “wrong” with him. But a pivotal shift occurred when he attended a Hay House event featuring Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson.
He realised he had been asking himself the wrong question:
Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, he began asking: “What is this for?”
This simple change in perspective shifted his entire mindset and helped him start seeing meaning in his struggles. He also discovered an important insight from his therapist:
Depression is often anger turned inward.
For years, Aaron had been suppressing anger rather than processing and releasing it. This realization helped him start working through his emotions in a healthier way.
Takeaway: Shifting the questions you ask yourself can completely transform your mindset. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?”, try asking, “What can I learn from this?”
Building a Life of Meaning and Purpose
Today, Aaron is committed to helping men heal from situational depression, relationship struggles, and career stress. His work at Engage Coaching Group is centred around education, coaching, and community-building.
For anyone feeling lost, overwhelmed, or stuck, Aaron recommends:
Start with one small step. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, journaling once a week, or talking to a friend, small actions create momentum.
Reconnect with your values. Understanding what truly matters to you will guide your decisions and help you feel more aligned.
Find a safe space to grow. Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or a mentor, having a space where you feel seen and heard makes a huge difference.
Practice gratitude and self-reflection. Shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s present can help cultivate a more positive mindset.
Takeaway: Progress isn’t about making huge leaps—it’s about taking small, consistent steps in the right direction.
Final Thoughts
Aaron’s story is a powerful reminder that growth, healing, and success are all ongoing journeys. His approach to mental wellness, self-reflection, and resilience serves as an inspiration for anyone struggling with self-doubt, burnout, or emotional challenges.
If Aaron’s insights resonated with you, I encourage you to listen to the full episode on YouTube and Spotify.
Join the Conversation
We’d love to hear your thoughts! What insights from Aaron’s story resonated with you the most? Share your reflections in the comments or reach out to us on our socials.
Until next time, keep reflecting.
Warm wishes,
The Self Reflections Team
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